


Naruto and The Adventures of Coming Terms With Her Delayed Adolescence

by Paperbackprint



Category: Naruto
Genre: Everyone is a bit ridiculous, F/F, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, First Love, Fluff, Ino doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut, Ino is seedy af, Naruto is a late bloomer, Post-War, Sakura/Ino/Naruto best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:55:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29992833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paperbackprint/pseuds/Paperbackprint
Summary: While hanging out with Sakura and Ino, the question of how can Naruto be 19 years old, and still never had experienced any kind of romantic feelings for anyone? Ino won't give up until she has gotten to the bottom of this and drags the mortifying feelings out of Naruto. Naruto wishes they had stayed repressed and save her the embarrassment of being hot for her old sensei, Kakashi.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruko, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 29
Kudos: 106





	1. Naruto, the Niave!

**Author's Note:**

> I really needed to get this story off my chest, It's really just a fluffy love piece and will probably only be a few chapters long. Hope you like it!  
> This story was heavily influenced after reading "Making Arrangements by CrownsofLaurels" I highly suggest reading it!

**Naruto and The Adventures of Coming Terms With Her Delayed Adolescence**

Chapter One

_Naruto the Naive_

* * *

Naruto was sitting in Sakura’s overly decorative, pink but otherwise comfortable bedroom, lulling about on the softly carpeted floor, idly brushing her hand through the ends of one of her pigtails. Her back was up against an equally girlish bed, donned with a frilly pink duvet. It was relatively peaceful. Relatively. Sakura was casually painting Ino’s nails while Ino in turn carried on about her colourful love life.

“I mean he was pretty cute but, ugh. So annoying,” she drawled. Sakura nodded sympathetically.

“He kept carrying on about how he spent the summer on his Uncles rice paddy. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a working man but like, he didn’t even enjoy it. It was so annoying having to sit through him complain about getting paid to spend time with his distant relatives. And to **think** , I went on three dates with this guy? That’s just how cute his face was.” Ino sighed. She rolled her eyes, “I should stop giving Civilian boys a chance, I just can’t understand them.”

Sakura chuckled. “I know what you mean. I love my parents, but I would never marry a civilian. Being a kunoichi is hard enough without some guy breathing down my back about how _it’s too dangerous_ ,” she quirked slightly mockingly. Naruto just hummed in agreement.

If Naruto was, to be frank right now she honestly didn’t understand what the big deal was here. Why would Ino date somebody she considered annoying just because they are cute? She kept that thought to herself however, Naruto wasn’t really in the mood to be swiped at with Ino’s magazine. Or even worse, Sakura’s fists.

The bright-eyed, pig-tailed girl had realised relatively quickly that boys were a peculiarly touchy subject with her more feminine friends. She found it uncharacteristically easier to just avoid causing any unnecessary pain (regardless of what her old team-mates insisted, Naruto was not actually a masochist). In situations like this, she figured her best course of action was to nod in agreement when it seems like it seemed like that was the right vibe.

While she hummed along with them, she idly considered if this perhaps wasn’t such an ideal time to hang out with Sakura and Ino. They were in a weird mood right now where they wanted to do stuff like put nail polish on each other and gossip. Naruto examined her nails that were perfectly applied by Sakura’s sturdy hand. So pretty. They were as orange as her oversized jacket.

But now that her little moment of pampering was over things had gotten kind of boring. Still, though, it was probably not as boring then if she were to have stayed in her tiny apartment gambling with her shadow clones over who gets to eat her favourite limited-edition cup of ramen. As she listened to them jabber on over silly stuff like who would you rather marry _Gai_ or _Lee_ she accepted that it wasn’t so boring after all. 

“I mean if I _had_ to choose, I suppose it would be Lee,” Sakura reluctantly admitted.

“No way, Lee? He looks like a child, and his voice is so high and squeaky. Gai is obviously the better option of the two. He looks like a man,” Ino claimed sounding almost too sure of herself.

“Ew, Ino! It sounds like you’re interested in him,” Sakura paused from painting Ino’s nails to throw her a look of disdain. 

Ino smirked and leered a little. “What can I say, I like older men,” her voice was so flirty that Sakura and Naruto shivered a little in disgust.

Naruto chose that moment to look back down at her nails and felt admiration for them wash over her. She wished they would stay perfect like this. It was so annoying how they would chip off as soon as she started training. It always looked so dirty when that happened. How is it that Granny Tsunade can keep her nails so prim and perfect even after she has completely slam-dunked on somebody. If Naruto could figure out her secret manicure Jutsu, maybe she wouldn’t even need to have her nails painted over and over when Sakura has deemed it necessary.

Before she knew it, she has completely blocked out Ino and Sakura’s yakking and was imagining her future with a perfectly executed chakra control and even more perfect nails.

“What about you Naruto?” Ino cut into her nail polish-driven reflections. Huh, what about Naruto now? They weren’t still talking about Gai and Lee, were they? Sakura barked out laughing.

“Naruto doesn’t date! All she thinks about is training Ino, you should know that!” Sakura seemed to be done painting Ino’s nails now and was carefully screwing the brush back into its little glass bottle. Put out, Ino huffed in annoyance as she brought her hand up to blow on her freshly painted nails.

“Sakura, come on. We are not little kids anymore. Sure, she might not be dating anyone, but there’s no way our little blonde bombshell right here hasn’t noticed the physically alluring charm of the opposite sex,” Ino practically purred with glee. She rather seedily looked Naruto up and down making her feel all kinds of self-conscious.

“Or maybe the same sex…” Ino added thoughtfully. Sakura blushed and made a face that seemed to take those words under consideration.

“Uhm… what do you mean? Alluring boys? Same-sex? You guys are always so confusing about this stuff.” Naruto's head strained. Alluring like how Ero-Sennin writes those overly graphic novels that he forced Naruto to read drafts of during their time spent away training.

“Well, I guess I do kind of know what you mean…” she trailed off thinking of those rather embarrassing lewd images induced by Jiriaya’s writings. She sputtered a little to try and explain herself, “I’m not interested in that sexy girl stuff you know? I don’t think I was ever that interested in all that stuff Jiraiya used to write, I guess you’d say ‘ _not my cup of tea_ ’? I understand why some people would like it! And it’s not like I necessarily hated it, I just never got into them…” Naruto felt the hot heat of shame crawling up her neck as though she just admitted to something sacrilegious.

“Naruto you Idiot! We’re not asking you if you’re a lesbian,” Sakura interjected but a rather low murmur coming from Ino _“well I guess that clears one thing up”_ claimed otherwise. Sakura sauntered her way over to where Naruto was sitting rather comfortably on her lovely fluffy carpet. Naruto flinched, ready to be smacked into that other dimension that Sakura so frequently enjoys sending her to when she seems to have said something utterly tasteless. Instead, a hand landed rather heavily on top of her head and patted her. She blinked up, not that she wasn’t relieved, she felt as though what she had said this time was more embarrassing on her part rather than anyone else’s.

Sakura heaved a sigh, “you can’t help it I guess. You’ve been training for over a decade and spent most of your puberty with _Jiraiya._ ” She stressed the name as though she was stopping herself from calling him something else.

Ino nodded in agreement. “It’s a miracle really, that you didn’t end up as dirty as that old man with his smutty novels,” the pale blue-eyed blonde added in astonishment.

“But I honestly can’t believe you’re still so utterly oblivious to all those insatiably hot guys throwing themselves at your feet,” Ino regarded with a rather thoughtful look.

“What do you mean? No one has even intentionally thrown themselves at my feet, that’s ridiculous. That kind of stuff only happens when one of my shadow clones sucker punches them into the dirt!” Naruto exclaimed with pride.

“Ugh, Naruto. That is not what she meant. I mean I guess you could read it that way too I suppose. It does seem like that every guy you have beaten to a bloody pulp becomes utterly infatuated with you. Your hands have some kind of love hormone in them that activates in mortal combat,” Sakura shook her head pityingly and continued to pat Naruto’s head comfortingly.

Naruto looked down at her fist curiously. She did tend to make friends with her enemies after she has beaten some sense into them. “I’ve never really thought about it I guess,” she commented still eyeing up her hand with intrigue. Ino and Sakura both share a look as if they were having an internal debate of sorts with each other. 

“Well…” Ino drawled and got up from Sakura’s bed to take a rather close seat next to Naruto on the floor, her skirt-clad thigh rubbing up against Naruto’s dark pants. Her face was implying mischief. “Perhaps now is the perfect time to think about it,” she grinned. Naruto blinked even more confused. She looked up to Sakura who was still standing above her as she just smiled back and took an equally impersonal seat on Naruto’s other side. At least Sakura wore tights under her skirt.

* * *

“Oh my god. This is **IMPOSSIBLE!** ” Ino exclaimed.

Sakura looked equally dejected. Her shoulder slumped in total disappointment.

“Don’t you at least think Sasuke is kind of hot, Naruto? Surely you have eyes.” Ino drawled. She felt Sakura tense beside her at the mention of his name. 

“Well yeah, I guess so. Sasuke is pretty, it’s a little girly actually,” Naruto pondered on the thought “but he’s like a nasty older brother to me.” She felt Sakura relax.

“Poor Sasuke. He’s going to be so heartbroken,” Ino replied ignoring the indignation of two women beside her.

“You guys,” Naruto starts with an accusatory tone at her two very invasive friends, “I don’t see what the problem is here. I love Sakura-chan, Ino-chan, Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Kiba, Shikamar-” Ino’s hand stopped directly in front of her face, successfully silencing her.

“We get it. You love Konoha. You, however, seriously don’t get it.” She sighed and leaned back against the bed behind them. Ino looked up to the ceiling in despair as though trying to make a silent prayer.

“Honestly, none of this is surprising. Of course, Naruto cannot figure out how to separate her feelings of love, her hearts too big to notice anybody might be a bit more _special_ to her,” Sakura then rested her hand gently on Naruto’s head.

“Naruto-chan, I’m flattered about how important you consider us all to be… but you can’t exactly start a harem with us all,” Sakura patted her soothingly.

“H-Harem!?” Naruto gasped. She was intimately familiar with the word harem from her days going over various drafts of Ero-Sennins notes on _Icha Icha Kingdom_.

“I don’t want to do anything like that- and with all of you- not that I don’t think you’re cute Sakura-chan, Ino-chan-“

_Donk._

Sakura’s rather tenderly pat somehow turned into a fist on the head.

“I was joking, you utterly brainless girl!” She hissed, although the venom was discounted by the rather pink fluster on her cheeks. “Oh,” Naruto mouthed.

“Maybe we should go outside,” Ino moaned, “I need some food and preferably not under parental supervision.” She eyed up Sakura who didn’t exactly disagree.

Naruto got up and stretched. “Maybe I’ll go out too and train. Sitting here has got me feeling so lazy,” she yawned. Ino grabbed her by the pigtail.

“You.” She hissed.

“You are not leaving my sight until I have you figured out,” she growled at Naruto.

“Give it up Ino, this is an impossible task. You should just let her train,” Sakura commented. Ino shook her head vehemently in response.

“We just need some fresh air and some new perspectives.”

Sakura giggled in response and escorted them out of her room.

Their relatively short walk to the busier streets of Konoha was rather peaceful. Sakura hummed happily while Ino admired the handy work done on her nails. The lack of investigation into Naruto’s seemingly non-existent sexuality was put to a halt and in its steed were promises of Dango and tea.

“I still think that if we’re hungry, ramen is the better choice. It’s too hot for tea anyway,” Naruto moaned. “Then get iced tea. Besides, how can it be too hot for green tea when you want ramen? God Naruto, you are so strange.” Ino scoffed. Naruto just scuffed the ground, only mildly annoyed.

They rounded the corner to the sweet shop where Hinata, Kiba, and Shino were already sitting outside. They were talking idly amongst themselves beneath a blooming Sakura tree that was surrounded by a platform of wooden seats.

“Oh, this is just what we needed,” Ino gleamed with delight and called out to the three of them, picking up her speed to jolly on over. Hinata looked up, shocked as if she was just thrown out of another plane of existence. She does that a lot, Naruto mused. Hinata smiled at them but then blushed heavily when catching eyes with Naruto.

“H-hello-“

“About time you three showed up!” Kiba barked, cutting Hinata off. Ino looked at him incredulously. “What’s this? You were expecting us, huh?” She leaned in close to him with a little smirk on her face as Kiba started turning a very pretty shade pink.

“Kiba here has been talking about you three since we met up at this very tea shop. That is because he has a bet running on who will kiss the other first. Kiba believes that the three of you are closeted homosexuals. This is because he believes every group of tight-knit girls are actua-” Shino’s gentle voice was cut off by the calloused hand of a panicked Kiba.

“Don’t go spouting your mouth off like that! It’s lies, trust me! I’m an honest guy I would never…” he physically sagged at the sound of knuckles cracking.

“Shino is lying, you think so?” Sakura sauntered over with a dangerous glint in her eyes that promised an untimely murder.

“Or is it the moron who can’t keep his dirty fantasies out of his filthy mouth!?” She thundered passing an award-winning punch into Kiba’s right cheek knocking him right off the wooden panel he was seated on.

“Honestly, I’m not even surprised,” Ino drawled, “I’d think that Kiba himself was in the closet if I didn’t know how weak he was to a woman’s charm,” she sighed.

“I’m not weak!” He cried out from the dirt path.

“Whatever you say, dog boy.” Ino flipped her hair uncaringly and took the now vacant seat up next to Hinata.

“That’s dog man to you!” He jumped back up, flustered, “I mean man or beast-man. But a man nonetheless!” He flared about.

“Okay, _beast-man,_ ” Ino purred suggestively. She then barked out a loud cackle on witnessing his instant embarrassment.

“Whatever, anyway that’s not what we’re here for. I can assure you there were no secret kisses,” she looked at him unimpressed before continuing, “Sakura, you know what I like. Get my tea for me, will you?” Ino threw her purse towards Sakura.

“Yes, your highness,” Sakura replied mockingly, “come on Naruto.” She latched onto Naruto’s arm. Naruto gave them a toothy grin before departing to the tea shop.

“Awesome punch Sakura, the look on Kiba’s face was unforgettable!” The blonde laughed. Sakura just sighed and murmured _ya’ think so?_ Her grip on Naruto tightened somewhat. It wasn’t unpleasantly tight.

“I don’t care who you have a crush on or ever develop feelings for as long as it’s not _that guy._ ” She jabbed one of her thumbs in Kiba’s direction.

“I still don’t get what you guys mean when you say ‘crush’ but I guess I love Kiba too. He makes me laugh, and he is so weird around girls. I just find it hilarious. But I don’t think that’s really what you and Ino mean.” Naruto chuckled to herself, Kiba was annoying sometimes too but she loved the way he would get all heated up when Ino starts pulling her moves on him.

Sakura just hummed. “Mmm, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah you love all of us. Do me a favour though, please never tell Kiba that. He’d probably get over his shyness of approaching you and it will be hell to watch him try and flirt with you and think he’s doing a good job.”

Naruto just tilted her head. “Kiba flirting with me? No way, we are so alike. I’m nothing like the girls he tries and puffs up to.” She scratched the back of her head with her free hand.

“That’s exactly why he would flirt with you,” Sakura moaned. Naruto and the concept of what love is just way too complicatedly simple. How can someone who has never had their heart flutter from a stare understand how heart-racing romantic love was.

“Well, I’ll try not to,” Naruto promised with a little smile, not a care in the world this one. Sakura mused on that with a breathy chuckle. It was a good thing Naruto remained so carefree. After all the heart-wrenching events that happened with Kaguya, Madara, and even _Sasuke_ it kind of made Sakura happy that Naruto remained her same overly excited, kind of oblivious but same ray of sunshine of a friend. She smiled contently as Naruto beamed at the Dango she apparently hadn’t wanted in ramens stead.

On their way back to the other four shinobi whilst juggling sweets and tea, they came into earshot.

“You’re kidding me, Naruto has never had a crush before? Well then, maybe this my chance.” Kiba started fixing his hair while Hinata looked at him aghast.

“Kiba-kun you c-can’t” She stuttered out.

“Not a chance.” Sakura deadpanned from behind him.

He spun around, shocked. Swallowing nervously at Naruto’s humoured face. He could feel the heat rising as his dark eyes made contact with her own electric blue eyes. Sweat started to form on his brow as though all that confidence that was oozing from him moments ago was dissolving.

“I love you Kiba,” she gave him a toothy grin and his shoulders hunched up at attention. Maybe it was his chance. Kiba always considered Naruto a total babe after she came back from that trip with the great toad sage back when they were 16. He did however tend to consider most of the girls in the village fairly good-looking. Girls were like kryptonite to him when they paid him enough attention. But even so, those times when Naruto would shake off her annoyingly loose jacket because she’s was hot only to reveal a delightfully tighter black tank top made Kiba want to howl at her beauty like a dog in heat.

“You’re like a brother to me.” Her smile got even wider while her eyes squinted shut. It was a nice smile, but it only succeeded to fizzle him out like a deflated balloon. Ino looked at him sympathetically.

“You are an idiot, Kiba.” She sighed.

Naruto carefully held out one of the iced teas she had been juggling in her arms amongst the dango like a precious child and pushed it out towards Hinata who looked back at her in surprise.

“I noticed you didn’t have any tea Hinata-chan. And I always see you drinking this flavour so I thought I should try it to,” she smiled. Hinata was strange but Naruto liked her, she was shy but kind and strong. She just wished that Hinata would speak up around her more. It aggravated Naruto somewhat that Hinata has managed to remain quite the enigma around her after all these years. This tea offering seems to bring Hinata out of the trance-like state she was in and she smiled a Naruto gently.

“Thank you very much… you didn’t have to get me anything. I-I’m very grateful!” She looked determinately at Naruto with complete sincerity. Naruto smiled back and took the other vacant spot next to Hinata. While Sakura and Ino continued poking jabs at Kiba in the background.

Naruto jabbed a straw into her iced tea to get her first real sip. Wow, no wonder Hinata always gets this stuff, it’s so sweet and refreshing. Naruto made a little noise of delight and felt Hinata beside her suddenly relax, not noticing how tense she was in the first place. She looked at Hinata and tilted her head.

“What’s wrong Hinata-chan?” Hinata suddenly tensed up again making Naruto furrow her brows in confusion.

“Uhm. No. Nothing. I was just really glad, it looked like you liked this flavour… and I know you only got it because of me… so I was very happy,” she relaxed again as though she got the weight of the world off her shoulders. Naruto threw her another smile.

“It’s great. I don’t drink tea often, so I didn’t know what to get, and then I thought of your face and remembered this one is the one that you always get so I knew I had to get this one then.” She beamed at Hinata, “and it’s really good!”

Hinata blushed and quickly averted her eyes. Naruto shrugged it off uncaring. She used to think Hinata's cold behaviour indicated that she hated Naruto like most of the kids did at their Academy. As the years passed by she came to realise that this was just Hinata’s personality.

“Uh... Naruto-chan, is it true you’ve never had r-romantic feelings before?” She asked shyly, glancing upwardly towards Naruto. Naruto threw her head back as if pained.

“Not you too Hinataaa,” she moaned, drawing out her name in exasperation. Hinata swiftly looked back down at her feet as if burned.

“I’m sorry Naruto-chan. It wasn’t my place.” Her voice quaked a little, unlocking an emergency instinct of panic in Naruto. She hated hurting people’s feelings, particularly Hinata’s. Hinata was just so kind all the time and she put her life on the line trying to protect Naruto on numerous occasions. She held Naruto’s hand throughout the war fearlessly. She felt so stupid pushing her annoyance out onto somebody who did not have a malicious bone in their body.

“No- Wait. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been so hasty. I am always so quick to respond sometimes I don’t even think. Please don’t be sad Hinata, it’s not your fault Sakura-chan and Ino-chan have been hounding me on this for hours.” This seemed to comfort Hinata a bit because she cautiously looked back up at Naruto. Naruto sighed and placed her tea beside her before leaning back.

“It’s not like I don’t understand what they’re talking about. You can’t train with Jiraiya for three years and not understand what attraction is… I’ve just never felt that way about anyone before.” She looked up to the sky with a small frown gracing her face.

“I guess I was just too preoccupied with Sasuke-teme and the Akatsuki to have really put any thought into it. I mean I was never really sure what would become of me, all I wanted to do was make sure I was strong enough, you know?” Naruto absently tugged at one of her pigtails before continuing, “and now they keep bugging me with this ‘you don’t at least think Sasuke is pretty’ nonsense and saying my love isn’t the right kind of love and it’s just becoming a bit of a headache. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was angry with you or something like that. I promise, I’m not. There’s just something wrong with me I guess.” She slouched a little bit.

“No!” Hinata cried out.

“There is nothing wrong with the way you love Naruto-chan!” She said without stuttering. She looked at Naruto with absolute seriousness reflecting in her eyes with a bright flame burning underneath them with a hidden passion. Naruto perked up a little, it was rare to get such a heated reaction out of Hinata.

“B-but…” her voice quietened down a little and her nervous stutter returned, “you don’t want to have children N-Naruto-chan?” Hinata blushed and her eyes reverted down to her hands the spark that was ignited in them fading into something more docile.

“I never thought about that… I guess so. I suppose it would be nice to have kids of my own one day…” Naruto trailed off thoughtfully. She never took much time thinking about having kids of her own in her last nineteen years of life. She sometimes thought about what her genin team would be like when she finally got a chance to take the jounin exam. She loved Konohamaru and his little team of ratbag kids that he ran around with. The image of one or two of her own little kids playing around her mischievously induced a little warm feeling in her belly.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” she let out gently, unaware of the silence that has settled around her and Hinata’s conversation.

“Now this is interesting. I knew coming outside was a good idea,” Ino’s voice melodically drifted into her contemplation of a tiny little boy version of herself donned in orange. 

“I didn’t realise that’s all we needed. Perhaps she isn’t such a lost cause after all,” Sakura resounded cheekily.

“Are you guys kidding me? Naruto with kids! That’s a terrible idea! She would try and raise them on instant ramen!” Kiba sputtered loudly.

“I think you are wrong Kiba, Naruto would be a wonderful Mother. This is because although she may be loud and overly enthusiastic she also loving and nurt-” Shino started before he was inevitably cut off.

“Well, well, well Naruto. Such a maternal nature you have hidden in all that gruff boyish exterior of yours. Isn’t Sasuke planning to restore his clan? I’m sure he would be glad to help,” Ino leered at Naruto. Sakura stood up to attention, her Dango dropping carelessly into the dirt.

“Ino! You need to stop making these stupid jokes! Naruto and Sasuke are practically family! That is incest! I-I mean it’s not actually, but emotionally!” Sakura cried out.

“The more the merrier,” Ino implied with a suggestive glance at Naruto who looked mortified at the prospect. Sakura continued to flail about, “I’m right aren’t I, Naruto? You wouldn’t want _that_ with Sasuke. Not that there’s anything wrong with Sasuke, It’s just-” Sakura cut herself off. As if her soul had managed to float out of her mouth during her little spiel.

She fell back down to her seat lifelessly. Ino raised her eyebrow at Sakura. “Sheesh, I was just playing around Sakura. No need to get you knickers in a twist over it.” Sakura just nodded lifelessly as she slowly regained herself.

“I just can’t see Sasuke like _that_. Sakura’s right, he is definitely like a brother to me in here,” she tapped at her heart and smiled gently at Sakura, “and Ino you know how Sakura feels, you really shouldn’t tease her that hard over it.” She berated, pouting a little bit. Ino just rolled her eyes.

“Good luck with that, Sakura. Sasuke is probably even more oblivious to that stuff than Naruto. At least Naruto had a notoriously seedy romance novelist to guide her somewhat. Sasuke was hanging around a total creep who was obsessed with young bodies. I dread to think what kind of influence that was on him.” Ino side-eyed Sakura who sputtered in response, “ _he’s not like that_.” She blushed.

“Whatever you say, Sakura.” Ino eluded that it was not whatever Sakura said.

“But now that I have found out this rather succulent little piece of information, I think I’ve come up with a pretty good psychology experiment to test out on our dearest Naruto-chan,” Ino declared, busting her way up from her seat in excitement.

Making her way over to Naruto, Ino stood suspiciously above the pigtailed girl and closed her eyes with a deep breath. “Uhh… you’re not going to do any weird jutsu on me, Ino-chan?” Naruto peered up at her reluctantly. “No, I’m just trying to clear my head before I begin. Don’t worry, there will be no chakra involved in this little mind trick,” she assured. Naruto, however, did not feel any reassurance from those words.

“Okay, Naruto. I want you to close your eyes with me and breathe with me.” Ino took a slow and deep inhale, she paused for a moment and then just as calmy released it. Noting that Ino didn’t make any suspicious hand signs Naruto hesitantly did as instructed. It was rather mediative, she wondered briefly if this sitting around like this and breathing so routinely would open her up to sage mode. They repeated the exercise for a couple more deep breathes. Everyone around them waited in curious silence.

“Now I want you to imagine yourself in a meadow, lulling on the soft green grass,” Ino’s voice came out gently. Naruto liked Ino’s voice when she wasn’t being snarky or making crude jokes.

“Are you picturing it?”

Oh right, the meadow. “Uhm… yup! I’m in the meadow.” She commented. Ino breathed in and out again and Naruto mimicked her rhythm.

“Imagine brushing your hands through the soft grass, think about how bright the sun is above you while the wind blows through your hair and rustles through the trees.”

Naruto sighed contently. She loved the way the wind felt, so refreshing on a hot day. The noises that it creates as it makes its journey through life, breezing through the leaves and the rivers that cut through Konoha was always so cathartic.

“I want you to look at your hands as they brush against the grass.” Ino reverberated through her mind.

Naruto hummed pleasantly; she imagined the gross was long enough to peek through her fingertips as she rubbed against it.

“Look up and see you have a little girl running around while a little boy chases her, the kids that you want to have.”

They were so cute, the little girl had a ribbon tied into her hair that billowed behind her as she ran. The boy had a sharp smile and toothy grin much like her own, they were both glittering with joy as they giggled at each other both kissed with dirt that danced on their clothes from vigorous play. She smiled at them contently.

“What is their father like?” Ino asks out to her within the meadow.

Naruto paused and looked around not seeing anyone else around. “I can’t see him here.” She replies.

“Tell me what he is _like_ ,” Ino stated rather than asked this time. Naruto thought about it as she looked towards the playful children.

“Kind.” She breathes.

“He’s playful too.” She adds as she watched the little girl stop and look at her before she set back off into a run after her brother, she felt warm-hearted. Then the little girl trips and the boy stops running, he makes his way over to help her up.

“And he’s patient. More so than me.” She watched as the young boy hugged his little sister while she sniffled, and then he too looked at Naruto helplessly as if asking her what he should do now. She unconsciously registered a scribbling sound next to her. In her little fantasy, she gets up to walk over to the kids but stumbles on her first misstep. Strong arms catch her and she feels a little blush of embarrassment settle on her cheeks.

“He’s cautious too, he always looks out for me.” She ignores the little snicker she hears out in the real world along with _he would have to_.

Still, in her meadow, she feels herself being steadied on her feet. She turns her head to look at the person she is sharing this fantasy with but before she can catch a real glimpse of who, a brown blur rushes by them.

“And I guess we would have a dog?” She adds a little hesitantly.

“Can you see who is by your side, Naruto-chan?”

She glimpses away from the children as they are getting pounced on by a little brown dog and tries to get a good look at who it is exactly that has a heavy hand on her shoulder.

“Uhm… I can’t see him,” she strains to try and clear her vision but it’s just making it worse.

“He looks blurry, it’s kind of really hard to focus… he has dark eyes I think?” She manages to come out with that much information. She hears some whispering around her _that’s it?_ And _did you get it all down?_

Ino sighed and took her hand from Naruto’s shoulder that Naruto didn’t even realise was there. She opened her eyes and blinked at them all. It seemed other than Hinata who was sitting beside her, everyone has surrounded her in a small huddle.

“What was that?” Naruto asks hazily as she struggled to adjust to the daylight. “You didn’t use a jutsu on me while my eyes were closed did you Ino-chan?” she pouted.

“Nope, that was all your imagination, Naruto-chan. And as to what it was, it’s simple really. I just took you into the ideal headspace to describe to us your perfect man without having to focus on any one specific,” Ino winked. Naruto brought her hand up to her chin thoughtfully pondering on what she just imagined.

“It’s not ideal, but at least we figured out you certainly have a type,” Ino flipped her hair and turned to Sakura to snatch the notebook she had been reading over with furrowed eyebrows. “Hey!” She protested as Ino ignored her and looked at the list approvingly.

**Naruto-chans type: As described by Naruto**

_Kind_

_Playful_

_-Not Sasuke_

_Patient_

_Cautious_

_Has dog?_

_Dark eyes_

_-What a cop-out. That’s like 90% of the village._

“It’s _definitely_ not ideal,” Ino reiterated. Hinata leaned up to try and peer at the notes curiously. “What’s wrong with it Ino-chan? I think those are all great qualities…” she queried softly. Ino huffed.

“Sure, they are all great qualities, but other than _dark eyes_ there are no physical preferences in here! Any girl would like all this patient and kind crap but whatever. At least I learned Naruto isn’t a total shrewd. She is undoubtedly attracted to something.”

Naruto huffed a little at being referred to as a shrewd so blatantly. “Don’t go making me do this weird mind-stuff if you’re just going to make fun of me for it Ino-chan!” She exclaimed bouncing onto her feet and leaning over a little to try and get a good look at what exactly Sakura had written. Ino just hummed a half-hearted apology as she contemplated the list.

“Dark eyes, playful and dogs? You did almost have a chance, Kiba,” Ino commented. His ears perked up. “But patient and cautious. That’s just not in your nature at all, you wouldn’t even be able to learn that kind of behaviour.” She whistled at his demise while he physically slumped. He straightened himself up again with pseudo confidence.

“I can be a gentleman to my woman!” Kiba screamed with cheeks on fire before he took off running down the path, stumbling just before he turned a corner. Akamaru went with him, trotting behind Kiba with a little whine.

“I think perhaps this has embarrassed Kiba,” Shino stated gently. “I should go also, I would not like my friend to lock himself within his room in shame.” He looked at Hinata expectantly. Hinata jumped up alert. “R-right. We must be kind to Kiba-kun.” She bowed to the other three girls and they both slowly departed.

“If you keep pushing Kiba like this he’s going to explode on you one day, Ino,” Sakura stated blandly and Ino just smirked in response.

“Maybe that’s what I’m trying to get him to do,” she suggested provocatively making both Naruto and Sakura blush as Sakura facepalmed.

Naruto moved behind Ino to lean her head over the other girl's shoulder so that she could coherently read the notes Sakura had written. She considered them for a moment, Sakura’s gentle voice brought her musing to an end.

“Does it make you think of anyone in particular?” She asked politely, although there was a tone in her voice that although it was soft seemed to covey there was something more to her simple question.

“I guess if you were to minus the part about a dog… I kind of think of Iruka-sensei.” Kind brown eyes, a gentle but supportive smile and the patience that you would expect from an Academy teacher drifted around harmoniously in her head before she shook it out.

“But no way, he’s like family. I love him but not like that.”

Ino snorted.

“Seems like everyone is like family to you.” She stated.

Naruto shook her head. “No, but with Iruka-sensei it’s special, he’s become something like a father to me, almost. He taught me how to cook curry, and always gives me advice when I need it.” For once it seemed like Ino was not going to make any seedy comment and allow the warm sentimentality to make its run. Almost.

“Daddy-kink?

Sakura choked and looked ready to murder Ino. This got Ino in a fluster for once and she held up her hands protectively. “I’m sorry! I was just joking! I understand, it’s just pure father-daughter love!” She cried out, sweating. Ino hated getting bruised almost as much as she hated allowing suggestable comments to fly by her. This seemed to relatively placate Sakura but kept a narrow eye on the seedy little woman.

Naruto pouted a little bit. She loved Iruka dearly and didn’t appreciate the comment either but decided to forgive it for now. “Please don’t make me have to think about Iruka-sensei like that.” She said rather put out.

“Hey, Naruto. When I was writing what you were saying down someone did come to mind…” Sakura trailed off while Naruto and Ino looked at her curiously. Sakura started blushing a little, suddenly very reluctant to carry on.

“Sakura baby, you can’t say stuff like this leave me hanging. I feel like a pirate and you’re holding all the treasure in that big, juicy, brain of yours.” Ino moaned. Naruto looked curiously at Sakura’s forehead where the apparent treasure was being held. She was not afraid to admit that she was also infinitely curious about who Sakura hypothesised her ideal husband was.

Sakura took the list back from Ino and a single slender finger slowly traced over each word.

“At first I was when I heard you say ‘patient and kind and playful…’, well I thought doesn’t that sound a lot like sensei? Kakashi-sensei I mean. But that was just a passing thought at first.” The two girls who were eagerly listening continued to remain silent. Naruto felt a little shocked. She supposed, sure, maybe that did sound a bit like Kakashi-sensei. But it also sounded like most mentors if she were, to be frank.

“And then there was the _dog_.” Sakura continued, “Kakashi-sensei is the only shinobi I know in Konoha who keeps ninken. And dark eyes? Well other than his white hair, his almost black eye is his only distinguishable feature,” Sakura finished softy. Ino shot up with clenched fists as if she got a shot of adrenaline straight to her veins.

Naruto, however, was swirling.

Dog

_Dog_

**Dog**

The little brown dog in her fantasy. She didn’t focus on the little furball too much, little floppy eyes. It had kind of looked like _Pakkun._ Naruto’s face exploded. She was mortified. She felt hot and somehow even more embarrassed than when she accidentally fell on Sasuke and kissed him in front of the whole genin class. Her heart was racing a mile a minute.

“Oh my god, look at her face!” Ino exclaimed, sinking her into even deeper shame.

“And I think it’s getting redder!” She continued unhelpfully. Naruto felt her vision spin a little bit.

_Kakashi giggling gleefully behind Icha Icha Tactics as he peered perversely above the novel danced in her mind._

“I… uh-” She couldn’t say anything.

 _Kakashi raising his mask to reveal the swirling tomoe, his face dead serious as he pushes Naruto behind him_.

“She’s speechless!” Ino continued to gush in front of her.

_“I’m really starting to like you!” Kakashi smiling at her during her training while she was trying to create a rasenshuriken causing her to falter and back off in embarrassment._

“No!” Naruto squealed. Her hands came up to hold her hot cheeks to try and cover the shame.

“Wow, it’s like I’m seeing a whole new side of you.” Sakura put an arm around Naruto’s shoulder to try and comfort the girl on the verge of a breakdown.

“I’m impressed. Sakura you’re a genius, and Naruto, I didn’t think you would have such fine taste in men, if I’m going to be honest.” Ino nodded her head approvingly.

“Older men know what they want in life. They are so much more reliable. And Kakashi-sensei. Well, you don’t need me to tell you, he’s a total babe.” Ino continued rattling on while Naruto melted into Sakura’s sympathetic arms.

“This is not helping.” Naruto whimpered.


	2. Naruto, the Honeytrap! Act 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi get's a mission he doesn't want to give out. Tsunade won't let him stop it. Naruto, Ino and Sakura just want to have fun and Kiba just wants to be recognised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and Kudos! I really appreciated all this positive feedback but it has made me a little shy about uploading more because I feel as though writing anime fanfiction is like writing out a bizarre fever dream. None the less it has been perfect weather to write. I actually had much more to add to this chapter that I have already written, but, I didn't want to overwhelm the reading so I decided the smarter option would to break the chapter up to make it more fluid... 
> 
> I guess this also gives me more time to create the story before releasing something set in stone, I was having a lot of trouble figuring out how canon I wanted to be to the anime. A lot of KakaNaru fanfics tend to change the whole Kakashi becomes the Hokage and likes to keep his Sharingan, but because this is a bit of a light story and ridiculous anecdotes I thought I could save all the characters the heartache and keep to the traditional Naruto ending.

Kakashi was in a conundrum. Here he sat being propositioned by the previous Hokage, Tsunade the Slug Princess about something quite baffling. In her hand, a full cup of sake sided with an act of nonchalance as if she wasn’t proposing the most ridiculous trio go on a stakeout.

“Ino, I understand. Sakura I can also see being suitable, but Naruto?” The Rokudaime, Kakashi exclaimed completely baffled by this newly heard proposition. Tsunade who had been sitting across from him slammed down a porcelain sake cup that she had just drowned in one go. She looked up and smirked at him challengingly.

“What’s the problem? Scared of letting go of your star pupil?” She drawled, her nonchalance now turned challenging. Kakashi sighed and his previous look of shock faded into his usual lazy demeanour, he really didn’t want to have to get into a debate over this but when did things ever go smoothly when dealing with the old Godaime.

“The problem is that Naruto is completely ill-qualified for what you’re suggesting. She could compromise the entire mission,” he rested his chin into his hand, leaning forward on the desk before continuing, “I don’t think I need to explain to you why.”

Tsunade studied him momentarily, she then reached for the bottle of sake stationed in between them and then proceeded to fill not one cup but two. “I’m not going to lie to you, Kakashi. Naruto isn’t the perfect candidate. That’s exactly why I want her to take this mission.” She pushed the cup closer to Kakashi. “She has no experience with kunoichi espionage, and if she’s going to become a female Hokage one day she will lack those fundamental skills as a woman. It would be embarrassing for her to sputter around when somebody is too direct with her or when she is unable to read between the lines.”

Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “You weren’t exactly a Hokage renowned for her effeminate charm, Tsunade-sama.” She slammed her cup down again.

“I’ll have you know I know exactly how to use my assets when it is necessary you damn brat!” She barked, ignoring Shizune’s protest of concern _‘Lady Tsunade please don’t drink so fast_.' Backing up with Shizune, the desk also trembled in disagreement. Tsunade, let out a slow breath, most likely to refrain from breaking something.

“With Ino and Sakura to lead the mission, there is an almost 0% failure rate. I don’t think a more perfect opportunity to train Naruto in this field will ever come up again,” she continued, “I dare say from what I observed it is quite a low risk. The target is a lecherous bastard, he probably would have kept babbling in the bar if he didn’t turn around and recognise me.”

Kakashi quirked an eyebrow. “If that’s the case, why couldn’t you of just used a henge and gather the intel yourself?”

Tsunade harrumphed and folded her arms against her colossal bosom. “You don’t think I didn’t also think of that? The goon has sensors with him, good ones too, they would have recognised my chakra signature instantly! That’s not even taking into account that they would have also noticed I’m using an illusion.” She narrowed her eyes at the younger man. “Besides, who are you to tell your predecessor to take on a job during her retirement,” she hissed.

Tsunade then leaned back in her chair eyed Kakashi up confidently. “Of course, I wouldn’t want Naruto out there untrained. We can send her the mission details today, the faster we notify her the faster we can give the brat a crash course on how to not beat the living shit out of a drunk target,” Tsunade chuckled a little and slid over a well-detailed report of the target. Kakashi reluctantly picked up the slim sheet and began reading the information listed about the said target

‘ **Gatō Company’**

He read through it curiously, he recognised that name and was surprised that the Gatō Company was still being run, but unsurprised that they were as corrupt as ever. “Sakura and Naruto have been to Wave country, Tsunade-sama. Their cover would be blown instantly.” He stated. Tsunade snorted at him.

“No one would recognise a couple of twelve-year old’s, those two are women now.”

Kakashi shook his head, “Naruto made quite the impression, they even named a bridge after her. I remember a young boy was particularly taken with her…” he trailed off.

Tsunade shook her head in disagreement. “They will have an alias. In fact, it’s Naruto and Sakura’s familiarity with the Wave country and Gatō that I suggested them.” She was sipping her sake at this point, seemingly calmed down. Shizune and Tonton watched as their master continued to drink her third cup with unhidden disappointment.

Kakashi hummed at the report dangling in his fingers. He didn’t feel confident approving the mission, the idea of sending his two adorable ex-students out on a honeypot mission unsettled him, particularly when thinking about his most oblivious ex-pupil. He eyed Tsunade suspiciously.

Why was Tsunade was so adamant about Naruto being used as bait? She was basically Naruto’s grandmother and yet she didn’t bat an eye at the prospect of Naruto being felt up by an old geezer. It irked him to no end that she sat in front of him, no longer the Hokage, and yet was still rebuking him. Not that he’d let her know how irritated he was.

He tried to consider her reasoning as to why she chose Naruto for this, and to be honest he wasn’t convinced. Since when did a Hokage need experience in seduction under their belt? The Hokage has sufficient enough security, he was certain when he passed the hat to Naruto her lack of feminine wiles would hardly hinder her. But then his traitorous imagination considered fleetingly the current Kazekage and his obsessive fixation with Naruto. The redhead could easily corner Naruto into an arranged marriage for the sake of diplomatic peace once he learned how to process his emotions properly. Naruto would do almost anything if she thought it brought peace to Konoha.

He shook off that uneasy thought. “I still don’t believe Naruto will be necessary,” he stated stoically, his face betraying nothing. Tsunade remained unmoved by stubbornness. “You’ll be wasting her if you don’t let her learn,” she hissed. They stared each other down, both stuck in a game of Russian roulette with their eyes. Tsunade relented first with a huff.

“Look. I get it, when you think about her she’s still a kid.”

Kakashi silently rejoiced in victory in his head.

“But if you don’t let go of her hand she will never be taken seriously. You probably think you can shelter her from the reality of men with nefarious purposes. But it will never end until she’s confident in her own skin and her own mind. Everyone will see her as weak if her subordinates treat her as a little girl.”

Tsunade’s words were cold. Whatever victory Kakashi thought he had felt was quickly subdued by the realisation.

_Am I holding Naruto back?_

The Naruto that is always so quick to give affection but so bashful to receive it. He gracefully placed the report issued by Tsunade down. She knew she had won.

* * *

It had been a few hours since Ino and Sakura’s persistent pushing and Naruto was not living for it. She felt miserable, embarrassed, and worst of all, completely distracted. Her day was supposed to end with her practicing sealing techniques combined with usual battle techniques.

She had up to this point been trying to uncover what exactly went into the Hiraishin jutsu that her father and second Hokage had so meticulously mastered. She was supposed to be attempting that until she passed out from exhaustion and cursing them for their ridiculous secrecy around the sealing that achieved it.

Instead, she was in a bar, still with her two pesky friends, because there was no way for the life of her she would be able to travel through a spacetime manipulation with such a muddled up head. And the worst part of it all? She wasn’t even getting drunk.

 _“Why do you have to be so selective of when I can drink and when I have to stay sober?”_ Naruto moaned internally to her companion and the constant drunk blocker living inside her. She received no answer as she continued to suffer in sobriety.

“What’s wrong Naruto? You haven’t touched your drink at all,” Sakura asked her while taking a small sip of her glass of wine. Naruto glowered enviously as the forbidden liquid departed itself into Sakura. “Yeah, what’s up with that? It was your idea to get drunk in the first place and you’re being a total prude!” Ino added to Naruto’s contempt.

 _“Come on! This is not fair. Everyone else gets to forget their shitty day, and you’re in here making me have to live everything down like a chump.”_ She pleaded.

 _“Why should I allow you to become another stupid, drunk, human.”_ Kurama finally snarled.

“Kurama is pissed off and won’t let me drink. At this rate I’m just wasting my money,” Naruto replied sorrowfully, scorning the fox as she heaved herself down onto the bar table and into her arms in misery.

“Eh, that fox demon inside you? I didn’t take him for the overprotective type,” Ino chimed. Naruto peeked at her from the cocoon of her arms. Ino was sitting across from her with her first long island iced tea for the night.

“You think the Kyuubi no Kitsune is like _that_?” Sakura asked, her cheeks beginning to develop a tipsy flush.

“You guys have it so wrong, Kurama isn’t overprotective. He hates humans in general, even if he does seem to tolerate them more so now than he used to. He doesn’t want to let me drink because he doesn’t want me to have fun. That’s how he has his fun,” Naruto looked at them dejectedly.

Sakura and Ino shared one of their little looks, those looks they have with each other where they seem to have an entire internal conversation without once opening their mouths.

“Maybe he doesn’t let you drink because he doesn’t want you to do anything stupid, Naruto,” Sakura stated, Ino nodded her head vigorously from across the table.

“Drunk girls are a father’s worst nightmare, Sakura’s right. I’d place my bets that this fox demon of yours is not comfortable with his precious little Naruto losing her inhibitions in a bar full of strangers.” Ino leaned in over the table. “And in addition to that, some civilian dude is sitting at the bar who has been watching us all night,” She leered.

Naruto perked up to catch a glimpse as she and Sakura conspicuously narrowed their eyes to the bar, confirming Ino’s observations. Undeniably, a guy was sitting there on his lonesome watching the group of girls unashamed. Sakura whistled, “Hey, he’s not too shabby.”

Ino leaned back into her seat and raised an eyebrow. “You think so? What says you Naruto, or is Kakashi the only guy that we can rile up some heat with?” Ino giggled as Naruto fumed back at her.

“Don’t say that, it’s only making me more miserable than before!” Naruto cried. “First, I can’t drink, now you want to drag that back out?” She moaned, rolling her head back into the safety of her arms. “There’s no way I can do anything about that, I just need to forget that shit before I embarrass myself in front of Kakashi-sensei.” She muffled through her arms lounging against the table.

“Giving up before you even started? That’s not the Naruto I know,” Ino sipped at her almost finished drink. Sakura looked at her disapprovingly. “For once I think I have to take Naruto’s side on this Ino, Kakashi was our teacher, to him were his precious students,” Sakura downed her drink and stood up.

Ino rolled her eyes and downed the last of her drink. “Were his students. Isn’t he always reading porn? I’m sure he must have a very vivid imagination. It must have been hard for him, reading smut while manhandling two female students. I’m sure he wouldn’t have been able to resist thinking about either of you at least once.” She wiggled her eyebrows at two aghast faces.

“That’s sick, Ino! We were children!” Sakura screamed ready to smack Ino’s head. Ino blew her off, “you sure like to say ‘were’ a lot. You didn’t exactly look like kids back when you were on team Kakashi. Poor man.” Ino gave an exaggerated sigh but her eyes betrayed her exasperation by twinkling mercilessly.

“Come on Naruto,” Sakura said encouragingly whilst spitting a look of absolute hatred towards Ino. “Let’s get a bottle of wine to go, we can head to your apartment. Maybe you’ll be allowed to drink and forget about all this in a different setting.”

Naruto slowly lifted her head off the table.

 _“Is that true?”_ She asked, mentally. There was a moment of silence before the deep voice of Kurama responded to her.

_“Perhaps”_

Naruto jumped up from the table eagerly. “Sakura you’re a genius!” She exclaimed before bouncing away from her two friends to the bar to pick up a bottle to go, just briefly catching the end of Sakura and Ino’s conversation.

“Oh god, what is he doing here?” She could hear Sakura say.

“And what is he _wearing_?” Ino interjected.

Naruto skipped her way over to the bar noting to herself that the place had become rather crowded. That wasn’t too surprising given that it was a Saturday, but it was still annoying. She leaned over the counter attempting to get an overworked bartenders’ attention when she heard a small cough from behind. So gross, she hoped they didn’t cough on her directly because it didn’t sound like the bastard had covered their mouth.

They coughed again, she was not pleased with how close this person sounded. Naruto glared ahead, she would have turned around and given this person a piece of her mind if she wasn’t self-conscious of getting kicked out for rowdy behaviour.

 _Cough. Cough._ **AHEM** _, cough._

“Oh that’s it, you son of a bitch!” Naruto spun around her, fist in the air. She was livid, and then she was exponentially confused. She eyed the male behind her, he looked familiar. But wrong.

“Huh, Kiba, is that you?” She blinked.

Standing in front her was a bizarre parallel of her usually scruffy canine friend. His messy brown hair was gelled back stiffly with a distinct shine she had only ever seen gleam on Lee and Gai. His baggy clothes were exchanged for a trim black suit. Akamaru who was by his master’s side was sporting a handsome bow tie with a cowlick flicking onto his snout.

“Oh… Naruto I didn’t see you there.” Kiba flashed her a quick grin with his canines and then pulled up the sleeve of his suit jacket to reveal a rather pricey-looking watch.

“Would you look at the time, isn’t this place so crowded? Not that I mind. Lines never bother me as much as they used to,” he then proceeded to laugh in a deep forced chuckle. Gracefully he stepped around Naruto to her side to lean against the bar counter. The bartender who has heard Naruto about to start a fight was immediately onto them.

“Excuse me sir, is everything all right? I heard a woman yelling,” said the bartender.

Kiba let out that uncharacteristically deep, rumbling, laugh once more. He stood straight and placed one of his arms around Naruto’s shoulder. She blinked curiously at the offending arm and then back at Kiba.

“No, my dear barkeeper! You have it all wrong, my friend here was just overly excited!” His hand squeezed her shoulder and she frowned at it.

“In fact, in celebration of this blessed coincidence of happening upon such a dear friend of mine, allow me to buy this lovely lady her next drink!” Kiba declared. The bartender looked at the two of them exasperatedly. “Yeah, sure. Whad’ya want, lady?” He looked pointedly at her.

“Can I get a bottle of red to go?” She asked, Kiba’s hand instantly froze on her shoulder. His smile turned strained as he looked at her. “You’re not going to be drinking here?” He asked tersely.

“Nah, me and the girls are going to go back to my apartment,” Naruto pointed at the two giggling girls standing near the exit. Kiba flushed, taking his arm off her shoulders instantly.

“Uhm, you know what, I just remembered I left Akamaru at home, I’ll catch you later!” Kiba pushed through the crowded line leaving Naruto at the bar again. Her eyebrows knotted together in total confusion as she watched Akamaru trail behind him.

“But Akamaru is here…” She said to the retreating form.

“Bloody shinobi.” The bartender shook his head as he took the money Naruto has slid over to him. “Neurotic the whole lot of ‘em.”

Naruto couldn’t find the heart to disagree with that. She took the bottle and thanked the man as she made her way over to Sakura and Ino.

“What the hell just happened?” She asked them. Sakura shrugged while muffling down a giggle. Ino wrapped an arm around Naruto as they made their way out onto the street, “that, my dear was simply magic.”

* * *

They had finally made it back to Naruto’s cramped quarters with no more distractions of insane friends going through an identity crisis. And this time thankfully, Kurama was allowing the warm tingly flush of Alcohol to overtake her body. She felt giddy like she could do anything! Ino and Sakura seemed to be feeling the same way because they wouldn’t bloody shut up about Kakashi, but she didn’t seem to bring herself to feel mortified anymore.

“You can totally get him Naruto, you’re like his favourite person,” Sakura said looking a little dazed, completely disregarding her previous argument that Naruto and she were too young and he wouldn’t be able to see either of them in that light due to the moralistic standards of being a teacher.

“Yeah, you’re totally hot as balls!” Ino added. “If we could just get you in a mini-skirt- hng” Ino started gushing. “If you would please just wear any skirt I would die happy, hee-hee.” Ino giggled her eyes rolling up imagining her most unfeminine fried dolled up.

“Ino you are so damn sleazy!” Sakura hit her fist on the table as if her voice wasn’t loud enough. “Why do you have to sexualise anything and everything! I’m ashamed to be associated with you!” She yelled ignoring Ino’s whine _“baby don’t talk like that, you don’t mean it.”_

“Enough!” Naruto declared, her glass of wine raised high in the air. “For the love of all things good in this world, can we please just shut up about boys for a moment!” She brought the glass down and held it in front of everyone above the table. “I make this claim in the sanctity of cheers!” Two hesitant hands joined to tap their glasses together.

“Okay, cheers, but know this gives me no pleasure,” Ino complained as Sakura looked equally dejected. Naruto hummed in delight as she brought the foul-tasting happy juice to her lips to get another good gulp down, strongly resisting the urge to gag. She was not as seasoned in drinking as her other two companions, but she didn’t lack in any enthusiasm.

As time passed Ino and Sakura kept to their promise from cheers and refrained from bringing up boys much to their dismay and even bit their tongue from trying to bring up the topic of Kakashi. Eventually, the world became non-existent and all that remained was the pleasant and deafening buzz induced by alcohol. Naruto started tapping the table in a beat, officially red-faced and smashed.

“Ehhhhh, Naruto? You gonna sing us a sooong?” Ino slurred, holding her half-empty glass of wine. She put it to her lips intending to drink it but accidentally spilt it down the front of her shirt. “Ah fuck! This is the last glass too!” She whined and pulled her stained shirt off.

Naruto continued to beat on the table. “Tailed Beast Counting Song! Alright, here we go!” She declares and sets off singing out of tune.

“Ino,” Sakura hiccupped, “where did your shirt go? It just vanished out of thin air.” She frowned at Ino’s bra in perpetual confusion. Ino grinned and crawled over to Sakura. “Ay, you’re about my size, give me your shirt,” Ino started pulling at the bottom of Sakura’s shirt to peel it off her. “Get off me you gremlin!” Sakura protested, batting Ino’s paws off her.

“Naruto! Naruto help! Ino is trying to steal my shirt because she lost her one!” Sakura called out to the girl who was now singing and dancing on the bed. Naruto paused from her groove and sat cross-legged on the bed nodding her head thoughtfully at Sakura and Ino’s clothing battle.

 _“You didn’t even sing the best part!”_ Kurama complained, his voice echoing throughout her head.

“Not now, Kurama! We have a serious problem on our hands!” She said loudly, ignoring the looks of confusion directed from Ino and Sakura.

“I know the solution!” Naruto yelled and slammed her fist into the palm of her hand confidently. She stepped off from the bed and began to peel her jacket off.

“Shirts are now disqualified!” She declared, pulling her black tank top off in victory. “Ehh!” Sakura cried while Ino clapped her hands enthusiastically. “Yes, future Hokage-sama!” Ino called out in glee and pounced on Sakura once more to pull her shirt off while Sakura fought for her life to keep it on.

“Aye, you three.”

Their shenanigans were interrupted by a foreign male voice. The three girls looked around the room in drunken confusion.

“Over here.” Standing on the windowsill was a cream-colored dog with unusual circle markings around his eyes which they vaguely recognised as one of Kakashi’s ninken.

“The boss want’s all three of you girlies to report to him immediately,” he paused and stared at them silently for a brief moment. “You should probably put your shirts back on for it, not that I’m complaining, it’s up to you.” The dog chuckled before jumping off the window and back into the dead of night.

“What a dirty dog!” Sakura exclaimed. Ino silently examined Naruto. “Woah girl, when did you grow those milk makers?” Ino whistled. “Oi! Leave her tits alone!” Sakura, still very drunk pushed on the seedy girl's head.

“Yes please, don’t involve my boobs Ino-chan,” Naruto hiccupped a little flushed as she went to pull her tank top back on. “That’s a challenge if I ever heard one!” Ino got off Sakura and started pawing her way over to Naruto, “Let me crop a feel! I’ve never felt double D’s before!” She grinned lecherously before getting held down by Sakura. “You seedy little freak!” Growled the pink-haired maiden.

* * *

When they finally made it to the Hokage towers all three girls slipped through the rather small door that was originally built for single-person entry rather clumsily. Giggling, they shoved their way through, arm in arm, causing them to stumble onto the floor in a barely dressed pile of pink faces.

Sakura’s shirt was at this point ripped from neck to shoulder on her left-hand side, the shirt in question was holding on for dear life from the right side. Ino was in her bra and Naruto was probably looking the most composed in her tank top which was now inside out and her usual track pants.

“Well this is certainly unprofessional,” Tsunade stated eyeing the girls severely unimpressed. “Ino, where your shirt?” Snapped the honey-haired woman. Naruto beamed at her, she hadn’t seen the old lady since she first retired after the war almost a year ago.

Ino stuck her nose up in the air, “I was informed that clothing was optional.”

Kakashi looked at the girls in bewilderment. “Are you three drunk?” He asked with a quirked eyebrow, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting in response, but it certainly wasn’t what came next. All three girls' heads snapped at him like a pack of wolves staring at their prey and then in an instant, they reacted. Sakura eyed him up scrutinisingly, Ino suddenly started grinning ear to ear and Naruto flushed as though she had a fever.

“ _Ka-ka-shi_ ,” Ino sang his name out, he didn’t like this. “I can’t help but notice you aren’t wearing your usual hitai-ate, are you trying to smoulder us with your dark eyes.” He really didn’t like this.

“Kakashi-sensei, what did you expect? It’s 11 pm on a Saturday,” Sakura stood up and crossed her arms.

“Maa, Sakura, don’t call me Kakashi-sensei, I’m no longer your teacher. Hokage-sama is fine.” He crinkled his eye at her.

“Or if Hokage-sama is too formal your honourable Rokudaime-dono is also acceptable!” The three girls fell into silence.

“Nee.. how about we just call you Kakashi?” Naruto asked hesitantly. She didn’t know how she felt about dropping the honorific, she called few people sensei. Iruka and Kakashi, two people she always felt a rather precious and treasured bond with. She felt as though she was betraying those people she idolised if she were to longer give them their respected title. As though her thoughts were reflected on her face the deep but light tone of Kakashi’s voice brought her out of her reverie.

“Naru-chan however can call me whatever she pleases.” Naruto looked up in shock at her old teacher and his closed-eyed crinkle of a smile. She felt something flutter in her. That wasn’t new, she always felt exceptionally happy when he referred to her like that but right now she had become hyperaware of that feeling. It was rare that he would use terms on endearment on people. She felt herself sobering up as a genuine bright smile couldn’t stop itself from taking over her face.

“Blatant favouritism!” Sakura growled and marched her way over to the desk of the Rokudaime.

Kakashi ignored the fuming girl and hummed, carefully avoiding looking at Ino. Partially for her suspicious behaviour but more so for her state of dress. Lazily he waved three sets of paper stacks as if they were dog treats, the girls scattered for them.

“Drunk or not I highly suggest you read through these assignments. I was originally intending to discuss this tonight so we could prepare immediately before our target is on the move, but I suppose we will just have to do it tomorrow.” Kakashi rested his head in his hand.

“Report back to me tomorrow, let us say 7 am? Nice and early to make up for the lost time.” He then waved his hand to shoo the girls out. As they started walking out of the office tiredly already dreading the morning hangover with an early wake-up call, Kakashi made one last comment.

“Naruto, don’t feel like you have to accept this mission. It is completely alright to decline.”

Naruto just stared at him stupefied, slowly nodding her head as she continued to leave. Kakashi regretted nothing, not even Tsunade’s eye’s burning holes in his head could make him feel apologetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was fun to read! The next part should be out before the week is over! I have already written a couple of thousand words ahead :) (although actual releasing could take longer because I am painfully neglecting two assessments hehehe) 
> 
> I tried uploading this by pasting paragraph by paragraph to make certain I didn't fuck up the grammar too harshly this time.


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